The Ramblings of a Human Being

I’ve always believed that my presence and everything that I once believed in will vanish as soon as I my days on this earth will end. I thought that I, a mere human being, amongst billions of others couldn’t amount to something worthwhile unless I do something amazing.

However, now, many years later I realized that that is not necessarily true. If only I could thrust my hand into my chest, and wear my heart on my sleeve for all to see. To see the enormity and strength by which it beats; pumping life into my veins. Giving me the power to love, to endure, to smile, to cry, to feel pain and joy and most importantly, to live.

I now know that I am not a footnote in someone else’s story; I am not the scribble on a margin. If life were a novel, I would be the beating heart. So, now I know to never underestimate myself. I am worthwhile, and no matter how insignificant my life might seem, I know that when I leave this world, I would have left an impression that would last an eternity. It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be something; a simple piece of evidence that I have lived my life to the fullest.

What if?

One night I was standing by the beach, gazing at the endless deep blue horizon. The salt scented wind softly caressing my cheeks and lashes, while the blown away grains of sands were tingling my toes.

I thought to myself as I was shifting my gaze to the other blue expanse, “What a wonderful world?“ The night sky dotted with brilliant silver sparkles, turning the sky into a masquerade of light and joy.

As for the tumbling waves, they are and will always be a whole other story. The strength they could inspire if only people observed them a little bit more. How can a thing be so persistent and persevering?

Waves grow, and grow, and finally they crash; however they manage to leap up again with the same vigor, if not more!

I wondered what would happen to the world, if each person managed to be inspired by one speck of beauty in this place called Planet Earth! I’m pretty sure life would have been drastically different than it is now.

What if we peel of the residues that has accumulated over our hearts, and blinded us to the beauty that lies within our grasp?

What if every human being listened to the whispers of the wind?

What if every human being breathed in the aroma of life?

What if every human being looked with his heart of hearts rather than his eyes?

Wouldn’t life have much more meaning to it?

And you told me to..

“Dream” you said, “Dream and everything will be ok.”

“But the odds are against me, I cant over come them,” I said. “No, the odds are just stepping stones, you have to go on,” you replied.

For a moment I could breath again, and you smiled and told me, “It will be ok.” And I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed. Days passed, weeks, and then years, but nothing changed. I became a haunted house of dreams and despair. You were gone, and there was no one else I could trust. Your words lingered in the air around me like specters from the netherworld.

At times I thought of giving up all hope; and sometimes I questioned whether I would ever succeed or not. “Maybe my dreams are not destined to see the light. Maybe I will never see them come to life.”

But, again and again, your words would flash over my mind and I’d remember you smiling at me, and telling me to, “Dream.”

And I Dreamed.

Beautiful Addiction

Ever since our eyes met, I knew you were the one

The one who will carry me up, and put me down

Who will kiss me good night, and tell me he loves me

Every night, every day, every second of the way

You’ll say you love me, and so do I

You were my prince, my angel in the sky
You were my friend, and you were my foe,
and I knew it all along

You are my beautiful addiction
You carry me up, and put me down
I push you away, and yet, I call you my lover

My beautiful addiction
just say you love me
and let me go

The Stages of Life

Yesterday, I was a child; today, I am a youth; tomorrow, I’ll be an old woman. Life is but stages, and the passage of time is inevitable. The person I was will never exist again. I reminisce over my previous life, and wish I could go back again, to relive the happy times, and to fix things that went wrong.

Alas, no matter how much I wish to go back and redo things, it will not feel right. Things are never the same again. Experiences change, people change, and most importantly, feelings change.

So I look on ahead of me. Live the moment; and hope for the future.

Old Friend

He put his ear against the earth and called, “Old friend, come back here; old friend, I miss you.” “I think of you every moment of the day. Oh, restless soul. What have I done to you?”

“Forgive me old friend. I should’ve known better.”

“I wish I could turn back time, and undo everything that I have done. I tried to come clean, but I gave up too soon, and I dragged you with me into the abyss.”

“I watched you burn. I watched you weep, but I pretended not to see.”

“Old friend, forgive me.”

He wakes up at night in a cold sweat. His heart beating fast, he could barely breath. He picks up the phone and tries to call. But reality strikes and he remembers then, that his friend is no longer here.

“Oh weary soul, I loved you. Because of you, I walked through fire and came out alive. But why haven’t you?” He wondered why wasn’t he who died. He missed his friend, his brother, his strength, and raging fire.

He prays here on his knees, to his friend that was once a living soul, and he says: “Old friend, I miss you.”

Please Remember Me

As the clock is ticking, salvation escapes me. It seems further and further away as I try to grasp its end with my outstretched hands.

I call for it with all my might with no avail. I implore whomever there maybe, to save me from the darkness that shrouds my whole being; turning me into an aimless zombie walking the surface of this earth.

“Somebody, please help me,” I call out…”save me.”
I beg forgiveness for all the sins that I have committed

Oh how fragile is the human heart when faced with such calamity!
“Please remember me; somebody please.”

I have tilled this sorrow deep within me, and this dark night seems endless.
“How shall I prevail?”

“Somebody please remember me. Pray for me. An unfortunate soul drowned in the deepest pits of darkness. A bottomless precipice.”

“Please remember me.”