I opened my eyes to a pitch-black night. My whole body was enveloped in darkness like no other. I tried to feel my way through, but I stumbled and scabbed my knee on the sharp rocks. I stood up and started walking again, but I tripped on yet another rock. Again, I stood up and tried to focus my vision, in a failed attempt to glimpse something that could be my guide.
Suddenly an apparition appeared before me. “Who is it?” I asked my self..I looked harder, and there she was. “Its you” I called with a relief. “Finally someone I know”. But, as I was saying that she suddenly turned away and started walking to what seemed like a flicker of light..“Wait. Where are you going? And what’s that over there?” I called. She didn’t answer, and on and on she went not heeding my calls.
I ran after her trying to follow her into the light, but I bumped into something invisible and fell back. I stood up and ran towards the light, however, I fell back again as I hit that invisible wall front of me. I banged on it with my hands, kicked it, and threw anything my hands grasped towards it, but that thing did not budge nor break.
As fear started to creep into my heart, I started screaming and calling for that apparition to listen to me. “Please listen to me” I called. No answer. I fell on my knees as the tears started trickling down my cheeks.
All of a sudden, the apparition turned around and looked me straight in the eye. “STAND UP” she yelled. Dumbstruck, I just stood there looking at her face. “STAND UP” she yelled more forcefully this time. I stood up, dazed and not knowing what I should do. “Look at yourself” she said, “your pathetic”. I gave no answer, as I didn’t know what she was talking about.
“I don’t understand” I answered back, “Why am I pathetic?”..She snickered and said, “Look at what you’ve done to yourself. And you say you don’t understand!!”. I stared back with the same confused expression on my face. She started talking again. “You!! Called upon this darkness to yourself, and then you had the guts to ask others to help you get out of it”.. “You built your dreams, and then you’ve set the walls that blocked your way from achieving them, while blaming others for standing in your way”. “This darkness you see around you was created by you. That wall you hit just now was built by you”, she said. “That light over there is your only chance. You either break the walls around you with all your might and run to that light before it fades; or just give up now and drown in your own darkness of mind. It’s your choice. Fight for what you want or just give up this instant.”
At that moment it struck me. The painful truth that I had pushed away for so long, had tore away at my heart as I realized my own stupidity. All those years that I spent lamenting my unfulfilled dreams were a result of my own lack of real determination. I decided then and there to fight. To fight for my dreams or die trying. I raised my head to look at the apparition, but she was already gone with no trace of her ever being there.
I fought with all my might to break that wall and to dissipate the darkness that shrouded my mind for so long. Again, and again, and again I fought. Not giving up, until that wall was shattered, and that flicker of light shone brighter and brighter. Finally, the light enveloped me whole into its womb to give birth to my new self.
The new self that believed in dreams and that they do come true with perseverance, patience, and courage.
Remember this: Fight for your dreams or die trying.
