The awakening

I was walking down the road when I heard a quivering voice calling me..I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl’s…it sounded so soft yet full of determination. I looked around to see who is it, but I couldn’t find the caller..

”Where are you?” I said…”right here” the voice said..

Me: ”Where? I don’t see you?”

Voice: “I’m here..right in front of you”

Me:  “kid..are you playing pranks on me? because if you are…”

Voice: “NO..NO..Im not…I swear”

Me: “then show yourself”

Voice: “ I can’t..”

Me: “why?”

Voice: “you have to see me…you should see me”

Me: “ kiddo.. I don’t have time to play with you. If you refuse to show yourself now..then I’m leaving”

Voice: “NO..don’t go..please stay”...  “I’ll show myself. I’ll show you but don’t go..don’t leave me..not again”

Me: “again !?…what do you mean?”

at that moment I felt as if something was urging me to stay and listen to the voice…

Voice: “you left me once, and now that I found you..you want to leave again??”..“why are you being so heartless? You weren’t like that before..YOU ARE NOT LIKE THAT..go back to your previous self..stop pretending of being someone else”

Me: ...shaken.. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is me and I’m not pretending of being someone else that’s for sure”

Voice: “LIAR..STOP LYING TO YOURSELF..both of us here know that the person you claim to be now is not the real you..so stop lying”

That sentence the voice uttered was so powerful. Like an arrow..it pierced my heart and shook me to the core..and it hurt..hurt so much that I,  the heartless one couldn’t stop my tears from falling down my cheeks. I realized at that moment who the voice was. It was my old self..my true and only self. The always smiling, naïve, childish me. The one I tried to conceal many years ago when I lost the one and only person who meant the world to me, believing that this will numb my unbearable pain. The person who loved me for who I am and accepted me despite my countless flaws was gone along with my old self..or so I thought.

Me: tears still falling “I’m sorry..I didn’t mean to..I didn’t know..”

Voice: “it’s O.K..don’t apologize. We all make mistakes”

Me: “but I..” 

Voice: “don’t worry about it. I didn’t come here to torment you..I came to wake you up from your slumber before it was too late.”

Me:..silence..

Voice: “it’s your  choice..you choose what you want to be. The sweet, loving and honest girl you once were? Or the new spiteful, and stone hearted one?”..

Me: “I want to go back to the way I was before..i don’t want to live the rest of my life claiming to be someone else”

Voice: “good girl..I knew you would make the right choice”

Me: wiping my tears

Voice: “My task is over now..I have to go”

Me: “wait don’t go..”

Voice: “I can’t stay any longer. You’re a strong girl and you can take care of yourself..but promise me that you’ll honor your choice for your loved ones sake, and always be true to yourself”

Me: “I promise..for my loved one it is”

Voice: “then it is goodbye”

Me: “farewell my friend”…